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End The Whining

by Fiona Lohrenz

We all know how draining and irritating a whining child can be, especially in a day care environment where a chorus of multiple whiners can seriously challenge your sanity. A full blown, short lived tantrum is way preferable to the constant, ongoing, nerve grating torture that is a whiny child. Fear not, it is possible to deal with the offending whinester and restore some semblance of peace and tranquillity.

Many whining scenarios are precipitated by simple factors such as hunger, tiredness, boredom and feeling unwell. Attempting to identify if any of these are the triggers can help minimize the whinefest. However, sometimes whining has simply become a way of communicating for some children and, if not dealt with can continue for many years as a very unattractive trait. Though there is no sure fire way of curing whining there are methods you can use to help prevent outbreaks.

Attracting adult attention can often be the reason a child whines usually as a last resort. They are demanding adult recognition via this annoying method in a last ditch attempt. Adults, we have the power to acknowledge the little ones. Listening to what kids are trying to say can often head off the irritating behavior. Get down to their level and find out what's going on. If necessary, spend some one on one time helping with a puzzle or reading a story. Peaceful times can often be achieved via a little constructive attention.

Discovering how whining sounds can help children understand the difference between various tones of voice. They need to be taught that people don't like, and won't listen to a whiny voice because it is not pleasant. Use role play or record them so they can conceptualise the difference between a whiny and normal voice thus helping them understand the negative effect of the former. Allowing a child to hear himself may help him grasp the idea that whining isn't so hot. Normal voice usage should be praised also to reinforce this positive behavior.

A child will whine when she is unable to express herself. Instead of reprimanding a child in these instances try to help her verbalize her feelings or needs. Help her with the verbage so she is encouraged to tell you what is wrong. The child will have less reason to whine when she has the opportunity to discuss her feelings and needs. The realisation that talking about her issues is more productive than whining will result from your positive attention.

When a child is whining distraction is a great tool for ending the tirade. The whines can be silenced by completely switching the subject and animatedly indicating something fun. 'Does that bird have an umbrella?'. A bored child is a whiney child so recognise the signs of a kid on the road to boredom city. Introduce a fun and compelling activity thus anticipating and ending tedium. The whining option won't be considered when a child is busy.

A child seeking recognition recognises any attention as a success so don't do negative attention. Try not to shout. Never label a child a whiner - this is not a standard or expectation you want to set for them. Never capitulate and remain calm. Giving in after 20 minutes of incessant whining sends a message to the child that persisting with this behavior pays off. They must realise that only a normal voice elicits a positive response. It's tough but stay the course and you could have a positively serene enviornment.

10 years of running a daycare leaves Fiona Lohrenz with a lot of knowledge to impart. This she does on her website plus on her 'Start a ChildCare Business' DVD guide: Start A Day Care Business DVD You can find her at her website: ChildCareOnly.com

Published May 27th, 2008

Filed in Business

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